LOSING A PET | FEBRUARY 2025

 

Well, it's been a good few years since I've posted on here. But alas, I am back. 

I've always used by blog to write about topics that I find meaningful. It's not like I've found the last 3 years a bit mundane, as a lot has happened. Life just gets in the way. 

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We brought Buddy home in June 2013. He was a gorgeous chocolate brown cocker spaniel, with a white bib on his chest. He fit right in. I don't remember a lot of his puppy days, but do recall him being quite a handful with the need to bite everything in sight (as with any puppy). 

His personality grew and grew. He was a cheeky, stubborn and loving dog from the get go. Even though walking him was sometimes a nightmare, he became everyone's Buddy. Everyone loved him, and he loved everyone. Except other dogs - he was quite ignorant when it came to other dogs. He just loved humans more. People around the village would point him out, 'Ah yes, that's Buddy'. 

His favourite walks coincided with him chasing after golf balls, and running after pheasants on our local golf course and nature reserve. He would chase after birds and if he sniffed another dog out, you wouldn't see him for 10 minutes or more. But he would always come back...eventually. 

As he got older, grey hair speckled around his chin and eyes. As he was always getting his ears dirty, they became matted and eventually also turned grey. His paws were what we can only call bear-like. They were massive. 

He would spend a great amount of time sitting on top of the sofa looking out of the window. That was another trait of his - being nosy. He also loved being centre of attention, like any dog. He had the lovable character where he didn't know he was being funny at any time, he had his own mind and that's what made him Buddy. 

With age also comes with some ailments. He was diagnosed with arthritis when he was around 9 years old. But, we got the correct treatment and he was like a puppy again. 

We called him big boned but he became quite chubby. This added to his dopey personality though, because he also didn't care about anyone's space and would squeeze in to the tiniest of gaps to sit next to you. 

You build so many memories with your pet, you don't realise that there will ever come a day to say goodbye. 

It all happened very quickly. He had minor surgery to fix a hematoma on his ear. We thought a full recovery was on it's way. But, a few days later he was wobbly and there was blood in his urine - obviously not a good sign. We found out he had a mass tumor, which was pushing up on his chest ultimately causing him to struggle breathing. 

He passed away on the same day. It was like he knew it was time. He was 11 years old, and he died with his favourite person in the room - my Mum. 

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Nothing quite prepares you for any death, but the loss of your childhood pet hits differently. I think he was my first true best friend and always will be. Life feels like something is missing now. 

Weirdly enough, the evening before he died I had a gut feeling that his time here was coming to an end. It's weird that your body gives you a sign of the grief that is to come. Still nothing could prepare me for the actual heartbreak of it. 

It's only been 7 weeks since he died as I'm writing this. I can feel that something is missing. 

Something that only pet owners will understand is that society doesn't value pets lives as much as humans. But, in my opinion pets give you more love and care than humans will ever do. Humans are a selfish species but pets (especially dogs) give their heart and soul to their owners and people around them. 

I think people just expect you to get over the loss of a pet so quickly. Like humans, they are a constant part of our lives. They give us so much pleasure and love, and then they are gone. They deserve a longer life than they are given. 

I am glad I was so present with every moment I had with him. Honestly, I had a gut feeling the last time I was looking after him that it might be the last, so I took advantage of it and spent as much time with him as I could. 

The night before he died, I remember that gut-wrenching revelation that came over me - he wasn't going to be here for much longer. My gut was right. 

Even though I miss him all the time, and it won't ever be the same - I need to remember that he had the best life possible. That's all we can do, give them the love and joy that they give us. 

We had plans of getting a dog this year anyway, but it will be even more special because we will think of Buddy when they're sleeping, eating their food and playing with their toys. 

If you're going through this right now, you don't want to hear the cliche of 'it'll get better with time'. Realistically, it will but with time you also worry that you will forget about all the memories you had with them. 

But they will always be in your heart, forever.

Rose x